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Fitting the Solution to the Problem

One of the events I help organize each year is a Star Trek convention. People who’ve never been to a Star Trek (or, really, any fan-run...

Normalizing Tantrums

I happened to be in a breakfast diner this morning and the televisions were playing one of those “gotcha” talk shows. The title of this...

The Power of a Pod

“I know this is a tough weekend. I’m going to suggest that David come home tonight. I have to get up early also. But mostly I think you...

Dangerous Love

There is no such thing as safely falling in love. Love changes you. Deeply connecting with another human being is a huge risk to...

Beyond Unicorn Hunting

Beyond Unicorn Hunting One of the most common ideas have when deciding to open up an existing relationship is that if they can just find...

Soft Nos and Hard Situations

Defending My Boundaries I may be the consent fairy, but that doesn't mean it's always easy for me to defend my own boundaries. A case in...

Co-Creation Instead of Just Consent

One of my nicknames is “the consent fairy,” because I’ve been talking about and teaching techniques for better consent practices in my...

Highlander Rules in Relationships

The Dilemma A dear friend asked me to go for a walk and talk about what her son had just told her during a recent visit, that he was...

Feminism and Civil War

My house has a name: Motteration. My husband’s last name is Mott, and the name is tongue in cheek, a reference to the phrase “do all...

I'm Gonna Get Stuff Wrong

I’ve been terrified to start publishing things on this blog, because I want to write about sensitive topics that are important to me and...